Facebook Explosion

Recently there has been an outbreak of acne among friends and acquaintances of mine due to the social networking site Facebook. In a matter of ten days my friends list nearly tripled. It's like Facebook started going through puberty and puss filled pimples began to surface in a variety of random places on my Face(book).

Not since my freshman year of high school have I experienced such an irruption of sebum. Of course, one of my Facebook confederates will read this and immediately think that I'm refering to them as a creamy white substance excreeted from a small hole. Don't worry; I'm not saying that at all, well, for most of them at least.

It's interesting that us single folk seem destined to try new inventive ways to avoid having to genuinely socialize with one another. Facebook is one method. Texting is another. My good friend Tamara actually had a post the other day on her blog talking about how text messaging is reserved for single people.

I personally hate text messaging. I've had to up my account just due to all of those people that randomly send me text messages. Of course, the phone companies don't allow you to choose whether you want the text or not. Group text, as I call it, is even more annoying. Have you had group text lately?

Anyway, back to Facebook. Yes, I am a subscriber. Yes, I actively choose to add friends, posts, and look up people I haven't seen in a while. Why do I do this? I have no idea. Would I do it if I were married? Absolutely not. Yet it seems to be the stigma for socially starved singles. Maybe if we actually got out more, the need for Facebook would be less.

Some of my favorite items on Facebook include all of the little modules and customized programming one can subscribe to and place on their personal page. Ok, so I understand if you want to show allegiance to your favorite sports team. I get that. What I don't understand are the modules like, "Are you HOT or NOT" or that one about vampire's and werewolf’s killing each other or something. If you're one that starts throwing crucifix and garlic at me via Facebook, you've got some serious social issues.

I also see an enormous amount of people taking these movies quizzes. Two users choose to test their knowledge of movie trivia against one another. Twenty years ago this was called a date. Two people either went to a movie WITH each other, or, they made Kool-Aid and played Trivial Pursuit. Again, together, usually in the same room and inches apart from one another.

There is one that's called the Honesty Box which allows users to anonymously tell another friend what they honestly think about them. Some friend you are if you can't even say it to their face(book). I think I meant that as a pun.

Or the "Are you interested?" module. I'm so glad society has come as far as it has in the way of personal communication and interaction that we've now digressed to checking a box on whether we may be romantically interested in someone or not. Hmm... I remember when I used to check boxes about romantic interest... they usually came during math class and were folded up in some cutesy way with pink flowers drawn on the outside of the paper.. yeah I think I was getting a lot of those pimples about that same time.

To add insult to injury, there is even a way to hug, kiss, kick, punch, throw snowballs at, or do a variety of physical activities in a very strange virtual method.

Let's just say you are interested in one of the pustules on your Facebook friends list. They've even got modules for those quizzes the girls at school were always taking out of ‘Seventeen’ magazine.

For example, apparently through Facebook you can find out, "What Type of Kisser" you are. Of course the results are published on your page so all of your friends, or those who may be internet stalking you can see.

Sorry, but if you want to know what type of kisser I am. Just ask and I'll show you. Until you do, you don't know what you're missing. (MUAH! Hellooooo Nurse!)

I'm not virtually kissing anyone. I like my women in 3D. (I have a feeling that last sentence may make it to the next quote book but oh well.)

I suppose my point is, dating has moved to 'hanging out' which has moved to, 'see you on Facebook'. Why date when I can find out everything I need to know about a person by looking at their Facebook page?

Yet, I suppose until I graduate from singlehood I am a slave to the culture I have found myself to be apart of. I just hope I don't get too much puss on the mirror from popping a few Facebook pimples here and there.

UPDATE: January 21, 2008
Apparently my blog could be considered foreshadowing. See this related story in the New York Times.