A Half-Drowned Cat

I knew it would happen.

It was only a matter of time.

Pride cometh before the fall and this kitty didn’t land so well on all fours.

The Tiger Woods debacle finally vindicates my feelings about his negative effect on golf. The hero worship I’ve had to deal with from over-exuberant fans over the past 12 years since he came onto the scene has been nauseating.

I certainly can’t say that I thought it would have been a series of lustful trysts in all parts of the country. I probably would have gone with tax evasion or maybe that infamous tongue of his would’ve lashed out at some ninety-year old grandma that got in his way trying to get an autograph for her grandson after a tournament, all the while being caught live on camera dropping the f-bomb more times than Max Hall.

No, this was much better. This was much much better.

The noble persona of a debonair gentleman, which made me cringe at every news conference, has now crumbled in pieces and beheld the true nature of a man caught up in his own ego. The façade of humility that placated the media and masses, shuttered. Little did we know that he had already accomplished what we thought was that elusive Grand Slam. He just did it with four women, (3 + his wife) instead of the way we thought he might.

Now before you haul off defending him or accusing me of being a racist, bigoted, opportunist who only covets his fame, fortune, and golf swing, all of which couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Rather it’s similar to what happens when in meeting someone for the first time and something just doesn’t feel right. You can’t put your finger on it, but your gut is telling you that the numbers just don’t add up. Then later down the road you find out they are child pornographers and you exclaim to yourself, “I knew it!”

Well I knew it. I just knew the day would come when Tiger would fall from grace. It was only a matter of time before the tall tales Tiger was telling (his wife) would leave him caught with his tail between his legs. (or someone else’s)

This time the true tiger turned out to be his wife and she caught him by the ‘tale.’ Apparently the only person who can beat Tiger with a club is his wife.

The question now remains, does Tiger have nine lives?