The anniversary of the inception of the Lint Chronicles is approaching. Can't believe it all came about nearly a year ago. Since then it has seen it's up's and down's in readership and content. (To see where it all started click here.)
The sole intent of this forum was to create an opportunity for the random thoughts and conjecture to be displayed for you the reader. At times it's been pretty good stuff. Other times, yeah, not so much.
I'm not looking for any Pulitzers because that ain't never gonna happen. However, one goal was to provide the opportunity for anyone at all to get to know me a little better without actually having to know me. (Now if dating were that easy.)
I have to admit that I've failed in providing that opportunity. It's interesting the various labels that people will assign to another. What's even more absurd is when the pot is calling the kettle black.
I've heard a number of judgement calls made about me over the past year. Some have been nice compliments, others have been borderline ridicule. Good thing my self-esteem is intact. I love the fact that those who know me least would probably say I am a negative, sarcastic, cynical, and bitter person. Really though, I'm the most positive, optimistic, sincere and genuine person I know! What I really think it comes down to is that I am a non-conformist in many ways and for some reason I refuse to conceed to standardly accepted social norms.
Part of it has to do with geographic location. In the audit of my friendships & relationships, I have found more meaningful relationships when I lived outside the state of Utah, than when I've lived inside the state. Why? Because it was more enjoyable to associate with others who sincerely and genuinely cared for a person regardless of their job, clothing, marital status, or church calling. The provincial mindedness is astounding.
What I've realized is that no one really knows what I'm all about. Some think they do, but they only know what I give 'em. And quite frankly, I think I shell out a whole lot of garbage because I don't trust many with the real substance. (If you haven't been able to tell yet, this post is all about me and my late-night introspection.)
The truth of the matter is that there really is only a select number of individuals out there that could truly give a fair assessment on what I am and what I stand for.
To provide a little bit of an example, I want to provide you with a few comments others have made in the past that I think are kind and more accurate than not.
"he is a real man, like you don't always get to meet. He seems like a regular guy at first, but it turns out he's a deep romantic and thoughtful intellect. He doesn't hide from his power but doesn't flash it around either. He has a way of connecting and being open with you that is hard to find in a single social setting, and is genuine and appreciative toward people."
"A man that is completely honest with himself and others. He has a way with words and a gift at expressing them. He is sincere, kind and would drop anything to help a friend out. He is intuitive, intelligent and generous."
"He is smart, fun, hilarious, and is my go-to-guy for a reality check. He's a solid guy who pays close attention to all that's going on around him. He takes his friendships seriously and he's always there to help. I'm so lucky to know him!"
Thank you to those of you who shared these comments. (And no, I didn't write them myself, that's just the thing you negative thinkers would think.)
Here's the deal, I'm not trying to brag about myself at all. That's not the point here. I'm simply using the words of others, who I share myself with openly, do the talking. There is quite a distinct difference from who I am socially and who I am personally. (No, not bipolar either.)
This is what has been on my mind lately. Do I want to change? Not really. What I'd really like is to trust. I'd like to have more trust in others. My current surroundings have not provided for such. Which is sad. I hope I've illustrated what I think I was thinking. If not, it's okay, I just wasted a lot of my time and yours.
After all, this is supposed to be whatever comes to mind. That said, those are my random thoughts on life for now. I perceive I may have some more random thoughts on Valentine's Day. For a single guy, it's just a good day to have random thoughts... don't you think?
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