To Be a Man

It’s about time this blog saw a testosterone filled ‘man’ post. To the female readers, it would be unmanly to apologize for what is about to spew forth, so I won’t. Hopefully though, you will come to appreciate the alpha-male within.

Today marks the countdown to the college football season of 2008. One month from today the University of Utah will travel to Ann Arbor to open its season against storied college football legend – Michigan. As much as my monthly cable bill pains me, and seeing how I’ve already realized it is a luxury I rarely take advantage of, I had to reverse course in my decision to cancel for one reason alone: Utah football.

I actually believe that the Utes can beat Michigan, Oregon State, and BYU in the same year. The Beavers would have been a win last year if it hadn’t been for injuries and BYU well, they think they have God on their side but really their wins the past couple of seasons have been due to one or two defenders forgetting their assignment. Michigan has a new coach and was beaten by Appalachian State.

Now just to clarify, I’m not the type of guy that my whole world changes on a Utah win or loss. I had a friend growing up whose father would be emotionally ruined on a loss by the Chicago Bears or Utah Jazz. I saw what this guy put himself through and in my adolescence decided that I never wanted sports to have that type of impact on my life. Little did I know at the time that I would spend 8 years of my life involved in the NBA which with every win or loss DID impact my life by determining the amount of financial bonus I could receive at the end of the year.

Though there is something poetic and nostalgic about this time of year. Not only is it great to feel the cooler weather set in while you’re sitting in the stands of one of the most beautiful places to watch football in the entire country as the leaves change colors around you. But it also gives me the opportunity to hate again; in kind of a loving way.

First off, I get to hate Andy Ludwig, the offensive coordinator at the U. There is a reason his offensive schemes didn’t work at Oregon, and the U can look to return to BCS status by not only scheduling games like Michigan and Notre Dame, but also getting rid of Ludwig. Athletic Director Chris Hill needs to start making this a priority and put it on his to-do list.

Secondly, I get to hate non-conference, in-state opponents like Utah State and Weber State. Not that there aren’t plenty of reasons to hate these schools already in an identity crisis, but USU always tries to make the case for ‘rivalry’ with the U. It ain’t gonna happen Ag’s leave it be. As for the Wildcats, thank you Ronny Mac for giving us the opportunity to run you into the ground one more time.

Conference opponents are next on the list to hate. It wouldn’t be fall if I didn’t get to see that smug face of Wyoming coach Joe Glenn, or the mere existence of San Diego State who I hate merely due to geographical location. (Although the cheerleaders get an exemption from the hate.) Hopefully with some new blood in the coaching departments of many Mountain West Conference schools I won’t have to endure that stupid offense out of Air Force nor the boring game Colorado State has become.

Finally, the hatred for that school in Provo. Oh is it divine! (My hatred that is.) Yes, I subscribe to the theory of the Facebook group, “BYU is not the Lord’s university, supporting it does not make you righteous!” One my most favorite people as of late claims that she is a ‘proud drop-out of BYU.’ Not only do I get a complete kick out of this but it makes her all the more attractive.

Cougar fans are the most enjoyable scum-sucking life forms to hate and not even feel guilty about it. They still live in the fantasy world of 1984, and sadly still dress like it too. To them, the state of the world as foretold by Orwell’s book of the same name must have occurred. Time has stopped still. The school and its fans don’t even remember that they changed uniforms for a little while there, and that Lavell Edwards is not the coach but merely the stadium now. Of course they pay no attention that in the modern world of college football, (BCS) not only have the Utes been there, but even a measly school that a decade ago played in the same conference as Weber State has too.

Am I bitter towards ridiculous fourth quarter miracles that have befallen the Coug’s the past two years? ABSOLUTELY!

As much as I’m not the biggest fan of our quarterback, for this season he finally has my utmost support because I’m ready to win the conference and the ‘Holy War’ and bring humility to those self-righteous, hypocritical pond scum. It’s true, I love to hate BYU.

Let college football season begin!

Prediction: Utah 10-2 MWC Champs.