The First Book Review: Farting Dogs

Contemplating what classic literature should be, one might look to Shakespeare, Dickens, Hugo, Tolstoy, etc. as controls for determining what qualifies as true and pure literature.

Others may consider the likes of Franken, Gore, Coulter, Hannity, Flint or the Hefner's of the world.

As for me and my house, we've chosen to visit the Children's - Picture Book - section of the local Barnes and Noble in search of the latest and greatest coffee table book. I passed by Dr. Seuss, Van Allsburg, even Kramer to find what should become the most endearing book to children all over the world: Walter, The Farting Dog.

I ventured over to a quaint corner of the store, whereupon I found myself surrounded by books about princesses and fantasy hero's. What caught my eye in between the typical myriad of books was the glaringly unorthodox word: Farting. At least I thought it was unorthodox to be found in this area of the bookstore. I could understand it in the medical, comedic, or even self-help areas.

Curiously, I picked the book off the shelf and retired to a large wooden chair next to the Brio: Thomas the Train display. As I opened the cover I found myself riddled with intrigue as to why a children's book would be titled in such a way and what the plot and storyline might be.

I tend to never give away the substance of the book, and I will not change that in this brief summary. However, as the pages turned I found my stomach muscles begin to tighten; my cheek muscles began to hurt; and my eyes turned to water. At this point, try as I might to contain the audible laughter or snorting from engulfing the store, I had to close the book midway through my reading simply to gain composure of the many lost faculties. Yes, it was nearing even a trip to the restroom.

All I can say from here on is that any children's book that includes the term "rectal flatulence" is a book worthy of not only my library, but directly displayed for all to see on the coffee table in the middle of my living room.